"Ranma no BAKA!" Akane screamed, as her everpresent mallet slammed
into his body again and again with the force of a stampeding elephant.
"How DARE you refuse to eat my cooking!?!"

"I-- I--"

"Shut up! Just SHUT UP!" She swung her mallet, knocking Ranma into the
air like a baseball. The wind whistled around him as he flew up, then
down, landing in the koi pond with a loud splash.

Ranma silently dredged his now-female body out of the pond, sighing to
himself. Why did the same thing happen every day? There had to be some
way to change things for the better.

"Ranma?" A voice came from behind. "Are you all right?"

Ranma turned around. "Oh, hi, ?????." Big eyes stared at him, with an
expresssion of worry and concern. ????? had always been the friend who
Ranma could confide in, who he could tell his deepest and innermost
secrets to when no one else would listen.

"Akane did this to you, didn't she! I'm going to go give her a piece
of my mind!"

"No, don't worry about it, ?????." There wasn't much point. It
wouldn't do any good, and Ranma didn't want to take a chance on his
friend getting hurt.

"But she can't just keep going on like this! Can't she see how much
it's hurting you? I-- I just can't stand by and let it happen!"

"Why not?" Ranma didn't understand why anyone would be concerned like
this about him.

"All right... I'll tell you." ?????'s eyes stared down at the ground
for a moment, then lifted up to meet Ranma's gaze. "Because I love
you. I've been secretly in love with you for a long time. There, I
said it."

"?????, I...."

"Don't say anything, Ranma." ????? began to step back, looking away.
"Wait until I'm gone. Then you can have a good laugh at how stupid I
am."

Ranma thought it over. He could walk away and go back to being hit and
served bad food. But here was someone who had always treated him well,
always trusted him. He had never thought of ????? in *that* way
before. But now, he wondered why he hadn't.

"Uh, don't go. You... you ain't stupid."

"Really?" ????? turned around and looked up at Ranma with big,
sparkling eyes. "Do you mean that?"

"Yeah. I do. Wanna know who the stupid one is?" Ranma inched his face
closer to ?????'s. "I am. But not any more." They kissed.


-------------


Feel free to try to guess the identity of the mystery character before
proceeding below....


-------------

Kasumi hummed a happy little tune to herself as she sweeped the back
porch clean. She waved to Ranma, who was standing by the koi pond in
his girl form; he didn't seem to notice, so she went back to her work.

Akane emerged from the house, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. "Hi,
Kasumi!"

"Good afternoon, Akane! Going for a jog?"

"Yeah." She looked over toward the pond. "Kasumi, who's that with
Ranma?"

"Hm?" Kasumi glanced over a second time. "Oh, that's Bess! Mr. and
Mrs. Yamane's dog! She comes over to play every now and then."

"Oh yeah. She's a nice dog. EWW!"

"What is it, Akane?"

"Ranma just let Bess lick him in the face. That's gross!"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Akane. It's just the dog's way of being
friendly. Have a nice run, now!"

"Thanks!" She began to jog back and forth in place.

Suddenly, the two women turned toward Ranma as an ear-splitting laugh
filled the air. "WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Ranma? What are you--"

"WAHAHA!!" Ranma was bouncing around the yard, carrying the
confused-looking dog in his arms. "I don't have to marry you anymore,
tomboy! I finally found somebody who really likes me! Someone who
always listens! Man's best friend!! He he he!" He continued laughing
as he leapt out onto the sidewalk.

After a pause, Akane said, "I'll go call Dr. Tofu."

"Um... Akane?"

"Yes, Kasumi?"

"Next time you hit him, aim away from the head, okay?"

-------------

You may all proceed to kill me now.... :-)